Have you ever tap danced? 
Yes, yes I have.

Did you believe in Santa Claus when you were little? 
Did I? I still do.

Do you like Easter or Saint Patrick’s Day better? 
There’s no reason for me to enjoy Easter. & I’m part Irish so I guess I have to say St Patty’s Day.

Are you craving any food right now? 
Nope.

How far away is the nearest Wal*Mart? 
Right around the corner, next to my job. I can walk, but I’m lazy as tits.

Do you go to the mall every Friday night? 
I used to go shopping every Friday/Saturday because of payday but I’m getting better.

What’s your favorite color Skittle? 
Rojo.

Do you think Farmville is stupid? 
I used to be addicted… not even gonna lie.

Would you rather learn how to play the guitar or how to surf?
Guitar.

When was the last time you went to a party with alcohol? Did you drink?
Uhh.. a little while ago. & yes, but it was a family party so I was under control.

Do you have any interests in psychology? 
I do actually. It’s my major. I don’t know if it’s going to stay my major, though…

Have you ever seen ‘The Texas Chainsaw Massacre’? 
Yes.

What would you do if you bumped into Robert Pattinson?
CEDRIC? IS THAT YOU?

Does your mom ever raid through your room when you’re not home? 
My mom has these frantic cleaning days so I’m gonna say yes, but never to look for anything.. I trained that bitch well. Just kidding, she probably would look through my things.

Do you know the capital of Nevada? 
Nope. & I’m too lazy to look it up.

What color are your nails currently painted? How about your toenails? 
My nails are Black Lingere by Revlon & my toes are Sole Mate by Essie.

Do you have any friendship bracelets? 
Yes. Quite a few. From my sister & my mom. BAHAHAH.

Would you rather have a $50 gift card to Starbucks or a $50 gift card to McDonald’s? 
Starbucks.

Do you think Taco Bell is nasty? 
Blah. The only thing I can get from there are the quesadillas. Believe it or not there is actually someone in this world who doesn’t really dig Mexican food. :O

Do you have a jacuzzi? 
I have a hot tub. There’s actually a difference. Aha!

Have you ever broken a bone?
If I say no am I going to walk out of my house & break something in the next hour? That would be terrible.

When was the last time you went skiing/snowboarding? 
I’ve never been.

Does your family own a cottage? 
Okay …. this survey is freaking me out. My family actually does own a cottage. We tend to call it a cabin but technically, it’s not.

Are you any good at making things? 
Making….?

Why aren’t you texting the last person you kissed?
Uhhhhhhh…..

What do you currently hear?

Sirens. They’re coming for you. Bad boys, bad boys…

Where were you last night?
At work. Or at home.

Are you afraid to tell your true feelings?
Sometimes.

Can you commit to one person?
Knowing me, a lot of people would probably say yes. But sometimes I don’t think I can.

Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?
Sort of.

What movie do you want to see?
I’ve been wanting to see Never Let Me Go again.

Is this the best year of your life?
HA! No. I’ll try to make it.

What was the first thing you did when you woke up? 
COFFEEEEE.

Does anyone annoy you?
Sure.

Would you like things to go ‘back to normal’ with a certain someone? 
Nothing is ever normal with any kind of relationships I have/had.

What was the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
Read.

Is life good? 
It’s always good if you make it out to be.

Told your parents you were going somewhere but went somewhere else? 
Not anymore. I’m old enough to do whatever I want & yet I don’t do anything!

Do you hate the last girl you had a conversation with? 
No! <3

What was the last reason you went to the doctor for? 
I believe it was my knee.

Do you like being home alone or does it freak you out?
I like it. & then I freak out. & then I like it again.

Would you ever kiss anyone you texted today? 
Yup.

Do you have any bruises on you? 
YES ACTUALLY. I have no idea where it came from. I swear people think I get abused.

How was 2011 for you?
It was alright.

How late did you stay up last night and why?

Only until about 12. I was tired, but I wanted to read badly.

I hate that my parents think that I don’t WANT to go to college. Of course I fucking do. I try to reassure them & it seems to go in one ear & out of the other. I don’t know what else to do because I’m honestly tired of all the side comments and jokes about me being 20 & still living at home only working & not going to school. I’m tired of them telling me they heard of people my age just graduating or just buying an apartment or something of the sort. It hurts my feelings… it really does. They see me as someone getting absolutely nowhere & I don’t want to be viewed like that. Why don’t they have faith in me?

Clearly, I made mistakes. I know that now & I know what I have to do to undo them. I know a took a huge step backward but there’s nothing else I can do except move forward. I wish they would stop dwelling on what I did & just let it fucking go. I wish they would just understand that I was not ready for college at the time. I wasn’t as mature as I am now. Right now, I know I’m ready. Unfortunately, I have no funds to go to school & I don’t want my parents to pay for it. I don’t want to be in their debt because I know I’ll never be capable of paying it off… figuratively. I’ll forever owe them something. They’ll never let me forget it. That’s just how they are.

I don’t know what to do. I’m stuck. I’m not moving. I’m getting nowhere. It’s so hard to begin when you have nothing to begin with…

Day 3 – Your Favorite Television Program

As of now (not of all time, that would be way too hard) the first one that came to mind.. would be Pretty Little Liars. (probably because I just watched an episode but whatever!)

 

I’m on the second season. I’m watching it online before it comes back on in January! I absolutely adore it. I love the characters, the relationships, the fashion, the scenery, the problems, the suspense… I can say it literally has everything in one show.

That’s all I can say without spoiling anything. I definitely recommend watching it. But I will say you might enjoy it more if you’re a female, a young.. female. Anyone else, I can’t promise you’ll like it, but try anyway!

“You must give up the life you planned in order to have the life that is waiting for you.”

– Joseph Campbell

Day 2 – Your Favorite Movie

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

*Mini Spoiler Alert*

I have many films I love. There are many that are my favorite’s list but, this one, by far, is my number one. The first time I saw it, I knew it was going to be my favorite. There are many that come close to beating it, but this one always takes the lead.

It stars: Jim Carrey, Kate Winslet, Kirsten Dunst, Mark Ruffalo, Elijah Wood, Tom Wilkinson, etc.

I believe that anyone can relate to this film. With any relationship, any situation, anything you want to erase… you watch this & you realize that you don’t want to erase any memory even if it hurts. It could have taught you a lesson, made you happy at one point in time, and realize you should cherish the people who have made an impact on your life even if you’re not on good terms anymore.

If you haven’t seen it, I highly suggest you do. This film can make you feel so much better about losing people, or breaking relationships, etc…

Wiping My Tears.

Do you know how hard it is to cry without making a sound? Do you know how hard it is to have absolutely no one to run to when you feel down? & even if I did have anyone, I doubt I would even open myself up to let them see now sad I really am. All people see is a girl who is always smiling & laughing, a girl who looks like she is always okay. I’m not saying I never show emotion, I just like to keep my sadness inside. I don’t like putting my problems on anyone. Someone used to get mad at me because I would never them anything but it was honestly never personal. It was because I didn’t want to make anyone feel bad for me or see in a different light full of depression which is definitely unusual. I hate when people go around trying to make others feel sorry for them so I just refuse to. I don’t need anyone to feel sorry for me, I already feel sorry for myself.

When I look back, I did not imagine this was whereby was going to be at age 20. I really need some direction. I really need some guidance. I don’t know where to start, I’m not even sure of what I want & how I go about achieving it. I don’t want this to be my life. I want to accomplish something. I want to feel proud of myself. I want my parents to feel proud of me. They have never told me they were ever proud of me. I would love to hear those words from them. I feel like such a disappointment. My older brother is a lawyer & my sister is a nurse. They both moved out very quickly & I’m living at home, just working, not even in school. I’m so mad at myself. & yes, I’m aware the only way I can be happy is if I’m happy with myself. But I’m not, absolutely not. I love who I am, don’t get me wrong. I love myself, I’m just proud of anything I’ve accomplished… which is nothing.

I really just need to grab a hold of myself & just try to continue my journey as best I can. I will fail once or twice, everyone does. It’s better than not trying at all. I just need to wipe my own tears, get up & do something.

Between My Lungs

How miserable a life of only sex must be. A life without something that lasts forever, like love. How miserable you must feel to have to constantly jump from one person to another only to invest one thing in them; your dick. How miserable you must feel searching for something you can never find because you’re too shallow to open your mind. How miserable it must be to never feel wanted for anything other than what lies between your legs. I would like to be wanted for something else, something more of substance. I would like to be wanted for what lies between my lungs.